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Same State as Me Sanity Deficient Kid
the blogger erYzah im currently feeling... bored excited afraid stressed depressed amused confused used bruised call me Ryzah please do pronounce it as REEZA. tenksh! nursing student. Cebu City. misses high school. dying to get out. the smile appears strawberry-melon shake. vanilla ice cream. white roses. white cats. labrador retrievers. pugs. cool avatars. beach!!! tv/movies!!! tv addict ALIAS. CSI. Joan of Arcadia. One Tree Hill. Desperate Housewives. Veronica Mars. Ed. Pimp My Ride. Punk'd. Spongebob. Shaman King. Lost. get into the movies harry potter. the count of monte cristo. city of angels. cruel intentions. shrek. finding nemo. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. constantine. star wars. beautiful mind. forrest gump. mean girls. proof. great reads the da vinci code. angels and demons. digital fortress. the alchemist. catcher in the rye. on the bright side i'm now the girlfriend of a sex god. the other daughter. veronica decides to die. harry potter. twisted. those by john grisham. Dissociative Identity 
stare into my eyes this insanity never dies look into my soul a spot, a big hole hold my hand gently feel the uncertainty listen to my voice hear the loud pleading noise grin amidst my scowl laughter despite a howl unaware of my hidden intentions beneath my chaste deception Panic Attacks
and so on... revised LoVinG haTinG of dReaMs and reaLitY sOng oF the mOnTh (december) tHe deViL in ME mY xMas wiShLisT betteR cRaP I'm Hearing Voices
My Obsession 
Sanitarium Admissions 
December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 July 2005 August 2005 March 2006 August 2006 April 2007 December 2009 Autophobic Introvertion 
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2.02.2005 oscar nominee for best dramai wanted to write. i wanted to put my feelings into words. i wanted to tell the world what i thought about politics, sports, music, movies, books and animes. especially animes.
but something stopped me; and like a jolt of lightning, it struck me straight to my heart. i couldnt write. its not that i wouldnt. ive been dying to scribble notes into my handy dandy notebook, but i just couldnt. damn, i just couldnt. i tried to fight back the tears from falling, but failure caught me by surprise as i thought, "God must hate me." and like an animal awaiting for release, the tears crept down my cheeks. it hurt. it hurt as if my brain were removed and fed to the sharks. it hurt like my hands were on the process of amputation without any anaesthesia at all. with the pain tearing my heart into pieces, i badly wanted to die. i wanted to get a gun and pull the trigger so suddenly that even my soul would be surprised. i couldnt handle it any longer. i couldnt live now. i couldnt live when theres something stopping me from attaining my personal legend--writing. i couldnt take living any single second knowing that i'll never be able to write again. i was losing the fight. losing my sanity. after this terrible incident, i couldnt bear living a barren life. they've taken it away from me. they've taken the one thing that mattered the most. they might as well take my miserable life. i couldnt live now. not without my pen... |
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