- Lost In A State Of Insanity -

Same State as Me

Sanity Deficient Kid

the blogger
erYzah
im currently feeling...
bored
excited
afraid
stressed
depressed
amused
confused
used
bruised

call me Ryzah
please do pronounce it as REEZA. tenksh! nursing student. Cebu City. misses high school. dying to get out.

the smile appears
strawberry-melon shake. vanilla ice cream. white roses. white cats. labrador retrievers. pugs. cool avatars. beach!!! tv/movies!!!

tv addict
ALIAS. CSI. Joan of Arcadia. One Tree Hill. Desperate Housewives. Veronica Mars. Ed. Pimp My Ride. Punk'd. Spongebob. Shaman King. Lost.

get into the movies
harry potter. the count of monte cristo. city of angels. cruel intentions. shrek. finding nemo. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. constantine. star wars. beautiful mind. forrest gump. mean girls. proof.

great reads
the da vinci code. angels and demons. digital fortress. the alchemist. catcher in the rye. on the bright side i'm now the girlfriend of a sex god. the other daughter. veronica decides to die. harry potter. twisted. those by john grisham.

Dissociative Identity

stare into my eyes
this insanity never dies
look into my soul
a spot, a big hole

hold my hand gently
feel the uncertainty
listen to my voice
hear the loud pleading noise

grin amidst my scowl
laughter despite a howl
unaware of my hidden intentions
beneath my chaste deception

Panic Attacks

formspring.me
moving out
feeling crappy
Regret's Bitter Cry
eMo mOde
insomnia
cuRiosity oveRcaMe me...
untamed freedom
Creative Cloning
seduction of the sea

I'm Hearing Voices

My Obsession

bend and not break by dashboard confessional

$rock on!!! \m/$ emo

Sanitarium Admissions

December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
July 2005
August 2005
March 2006
August 2006
April 2007
December 2009

Autophobic Introvertion

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-=*=- echie's world -=*=- echie's blog -=*=-
-=*=- maroux -=*=- aileen -=*=-
-=*=- katherine -=*=- SilentWisher -=*=-
-=*=- ruffa -=*=- shenmue -=*=- milky -=*=-
-=*=- dARLiZa -=*=- cARiStA -=*=-
-=*=- chRiS -=*=- liTeRaRyOng biNiSaYa -=*=-
-=*=- biSaYa bLoggeRs -=*=- soulless -=*=-
-=*=- spideY -=*=- aiaix -=*=-
-=*=- haNy_naNy -=*=-

Insane MuzziK

(mouse over for description)

|X| daShboard confeSSional |X|
|X| the uSed |X| daphne loveS derby |X|
|X| incubuS |X| matchbook romance |X|
|X| system of a down |X| hale |X|
|X| 3 doors down |X| kitchie nadal |X|

A Dose of Sanity

Angelic Shrinks

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12.29.2004

LoVinG haTinG

i don't know what i really love in this world. and by love, i don't mean like or want or crazy about or things of the kind.

but i certainly know what things get my blood boiling.

and here they go...

i hate being scolded. yes, i know everybody says its for his own sake, but who the heck wants to scolded and stand listening to a long sermon?
i hate being told what to do. i admit there are times that i would gladly like be told what to do. but i hate it when i'm forced to do something i really don't want to do.
i get mad when my younger brothers get their filthy hands my things. who doesn't? uhg!!! grrrr... why don't they just mind their own business? humph! i really get upset when they do these things. it makes me want to pich them so hard they'd scream at the top of their lungs and cry out like little babies. so much for brotherhoood...!!!
i feel really bad when someone blames me and i don't even get to explain my side of the story. what ever happened to fairness and equality, people?
i hate it when i regret not doing something i should have done. regrets... to hell with them!
i'd like to kill all the cockroaches in the world. uhg! grrrr...!!! disgusting creepy crawlies!!! i hope they'd be extinct... humph....
it annoys me when people expect too much of me. exceling in academics doesn't mean i should study like hell 'til i go all crazy. i'm still a teenager, remember? and i want to enjoy being one...
i hate hypocrites so much that i'd like to punch their nose 'til they bleed.
i hate myself for being so damn withrawn...
i hate my self so much that i'd also poke my eyes 'til i die. i hate myself even though it doesn't make any sense at all.

r e E z Z a h was lost @ 12/29/2004 09:31:00 AM | 0 saved me

12.24.2004

of dReaMs and reaLitY

Heaven sent

a tribute to my imaginary angel

Staring at me
Never saying a word
And showing me
Words she can’t afford

Gentle smile in her eyes
Mellow laughter in her lips
Her enchanting face so nice
With innocence she keeps

But she’s just a creation
Of my follies and dreams
Product of my imagination
Though, so real she seems

r e E z Z a h was lost @ 12/24/2004 10:50:00 AM | 0 saved me

12.23.2004

sOng oF the mOnTh (december)

ONLY ONE

by Yellow card

Broken this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up

And I give up

I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out

and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one

that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up

I feel like giving up

I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one

who gets me like you do

You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly

Leave a note for you my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one, no one like you

You are my only, my only one

My only one

r e E z Z a h was lost @ 12/23/2004 01:17:00 PM | 0 saved me

12.19.2004

tHe deViL in ME

my heart can't help

but enjoy the sweet moment

of a foe's defeat

my lips can't help

but hide a wicked smile

despite the loud cry for help

i can't help

but let out a chuckle

after my rival's humiliation

it seems

my untamed cruelty

have strongly overpowered

my human nature

r e E z Z a h was lost @ 12/19/2004 09:55:00 PM | 0 saved me

12.18.2004

mY xMas wiShLisT

i've been thinking about christmas lately. and guess what first got into my mind when i hear that word...

yup! you're probably right.

GIFTS!!! a lot of them... !!!

and because i believe everybody i know is a good person, i bet all of them would be willingly honored to realize my anticipated xmas wishlist...

one month vacation -- i'd be psyched to go somewhere in the bahamas without any school work bothering me... but a trip to camiguin or boracay would do... and puhleeZz, don't forget to pack my friends, along with my suitcases, with me...

my own laptop -- i've been dying to have this thing... but unfortunately, because of my family's social status, i can't afford that right now... maybe in the next hundred years... JOKING!!!

a ticket to a concert of any of my fave bands -- definitely no boy bands... FYI: i don't like any boy band... i hate them!!! i love emo bands like dashboard confessional, but some of simple plan's and good charlotte's punk emo would do. and hey, incubus is one of the greatest bands ever!!!

my own digicam -- dying to have this too... just can't have it. but miracles do happen, right?... HOPEFULLY! im just fond of taking pictures... as if i'm good at them... :) but i do believe that talents can be developed... :) LOL!

a library full of books written by my fave authors -- no don't get me wrong here. i am not a BOOKWORM!!! i just love reading. anyway, don't ever forget dan brown (just can't easily get over the da vinci code) , john grisham (love his works), judith mcnaught (they say she's a good author) and some of stephen king (talented man.. brings you to his world)books on the list. and don't ever think twice about giving me a harry potter collection... a million thanks j k rowling for making your world a part of mine...

a mini portable mp3/vcd/dvd player along with a hundred cds -- i bet there's alerady something like this. i mean, this is the modern world! high technology, anyone? anyway, i've fallen head over heels with music and movies... two m's there... i just can't help but love them...

an entertainment center in my room -- complete with a surround system, 40-inch tv and mp3/vcd/ dvd player... hey! i'm not that crazy to believe that someone would actually give me this one. but still, miracles happen, right? :P

cute little habagat sort of wallet sling bag -- this a necessity... i need to use something where i place my phone whenever i go and hang out with my peepz... can't bring a bag, you know!

a new acoustic guitar -- don't worry i won't ask for the one that costs P40,000.00... i can accept the cheaper ones... which costs P4,000.00 or P3,000.00... any of those, man! it's your money. you choose. but let your conscience guide you... :) LOL

a pair of sandugo sandals -- i hope my manita is kind enough to give me this one... i really like them!!! i'd be glad to wear them at the beach... sigh...!!! BEACH!!! i miss the beach!

(talking to myself) KEEP YOUR HOPES UP, BUDDY! IF YOU'LL BE NICE, MAYBE STANTA WILL STOP BY AND GRANT ONE OF YOUR WISHES.... OR MAYBE HE'LL GIVE YOU A MAGIC LAMP WITH A GENIE IN IT!!! OR MAYBE THE PERSON READING THIS JOURNAL WILL BE GENEROUS ENOUGH TO DO IT... :P

REMINDER: it's christmas time... where's your sense of humor?

r e E z Z a h was lost @ 12/18/2004 08:43:00 PM | 0 saved me

12.17.2004

betteR cRaP

this blog is better than my first one...

i can't say anything else. i'm really at a loss of words now.

or is it just because i'm sleepy?

whatever alibi it would be, i can't formulate the right words right now.

r e E z Z a h was lost @ 12/17/2004 10:48:00 PM | 0 saved me