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Same State as Me Sanity Deficient Kid
the blogger erYzah im currently feeling... bored excited afraid stressed depressed amused confused used bruised call me Ryzah please do pronounce it as REEZA. tenksh! nursing student. Cebu City. misses high school. dying to get out. the smile appears strawberry-melon shake. vanilla ice cream. white roses. white cats. labrador retrievers. pugs. cool avatars. beach!!! tv/movies!!! tv addict ALIAS. CSI. Joan of Arcadia. One Tree Hill. Desperate Housewives. Veronica Mars. Ed. Pimp My Ride. Punk'd. Spongebob. Shaman King. Lost. get into the movies harry potter. the count of monte cristo. city of angels. cruel intentions. shrek. finding nemo. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. constantine. star wars. beautiful mind. forrest gump. mean girls. proof. great reads the da vinci code. angels and demons. digital fortress. the alchemist. catcher in the rye. on the bright side i'm now the girlfriend of a sex god. the other daughter. veronica decides to die. harry potter. twisted. those by john grisham. Dissociative Identity 
stare into my eyes this insanity never dies look into my soul a spot, a big hole hold my hand gently feel the uncertainty listen to my voice hear the loud pleading noise grin amidst my scowl laughter despite a howl unaware of my hidden intentions beneath my chaste deception Panic Attacks
formspring.me moving out feeling crappy Regret's Bitter Cry eMo mOde insomnia cuRiosity oveRcaMe me... untamed freedom Creative Cloning seduction of the sea I'm Hearing Voices
My Obsession 
Sanitarium Admissions 
December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 July 2005 August 2005 March 2006 August 2006 April 2007 December 2009 Autophobic Introvertion 
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3.23.2005 not again!somewhere in a crack between insanity and despair, i held on. i called out your name. i screamed at the top of my lungs for you to find me. i fought all odds of losing hope, remembering your voice... your promises. i held on to the thought of you finding me and having me back. i pushed my body to the limits just to hold on to that grip. i forced my mind to find "the zone" just to foget about the pain. somewhere in a crack between insanity and despair, i battled against myself. my sanity told me you would never be there but my heart convinced me that you cared too much for me to throw all the memories away. my abused body told me to let go, but my faithful spirit just couldnt, wouldnt. my ego told me it would be just fine even without you, but it scared the living daylights out of me to accept that youre gone. and i kept telling myself to hold on forever, but something told me to wake up and face reality. somewhere in a crack between insanity and despair, i found my real self. i removed the feeling that have blinded me from the start. i cleared my thoughts from any of your foolish lies. all i could feel was the stinging pain in my hands. all i could hear were the loud throbbing of blood in my ears and the pounding of my heart screaming for release. and all at that moment, i knew. for the last time i shed a single tear, smiled and finally let go. somewhere in a crack between insanity and despair, i could still remember. i could remember as if i were there again. but i couldnt i feel the stinging pain in my heart and hands now. nor could i hear the loud throbbing of blood in my ears and the pounding of my heart screaming for release. i just couldnt feel it anymore, not even regret. somewhere in a crack between insanity and despair, all i could remember was the sweet feeling of finally letting go of you. 3.10.2005 eMo...sCReaMO ! ! ! |
